I just got a book called Working Mom's Survival Guide. Because, as the following conversation will demonstrate, we are just barely surviving:
Me, 7:15 AM [answering my cell phone on the way to work, seeing that it is Claire and knowing that there is a problem]: Yeeeeeeessss...
Claire: MOM! Christopher can't find his socks!
Me: Did he look in the socket basket?
Claire: Yes!
Me: Did he look on the floor by the couch?
Claire: Yes!
Me: Did he look on the floor by the front door where all that stuff is?
Claire: Ye - uh, I don't know. [to her brother, without pulling the phone away from her mouth] CHRISTOPHER!!!!! Mom says look by the door by the pile of stuff!...He found 'em!
Me: Good. Lemme go, I gotta drive.
Claire: WAIT! Where's a hairbrush?
Notice a few things about this conversation. Notice how I never suggested that he look in his dresser. How, even though things are obviously in disarray, I still had a pretty good idea where the socks were and the kids didn't. Notice how Christopher didn't call me himself, or continue to look for his socks by himself. Notice how as I speed further and further away from my children for the day, children who are old enough to dress themselves and brush their hair, I am still assisting with these things. This, people, must change. I mean, the kids still need me, they'll always need me in one way or another, but my 12 year old is really going to have to start using her hairbrush and putting it back in the place where she got it OR at least stop calling me when I'm 30 miles away and asking me where it is.
But then, her 36 year old mother doesn't put things back where they go after she uses them. Hence, the survival guide, which promises me I'll be thriving and "taking care of" myself before I know it. I'm already in a self-help program that helps me take care of myself. Really, am I ever going to learn? YES! Yes, I will if it takes me the rest of my life, so help me God I will remember to put a hairbrush back where it belongs so that my family is not scrambling around the house at 7:00 in the morning screaming, "WHERE'S THE HAIRBRUSH!!?? I DON'T KNOW!!! GET MOM ON THE PHONE!!!!"
So what would I like to do when I reach the advanced stages of taking care of myself? Beyond stuff like flossing regularly? I want to watch movies more often. I still have not seen The Artist, The Descendants, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Sucker Punch, or Wilde, the movie about Oscar Wilde that I got in the mail from Netflix about a month ago and is still sitting unopened on my dresser. I know, Sucker Punch doesn't really fit with the others but I saw half of it a few weeks ago and was mesmerized in that "this is kind of cheesy but also kind of awesome and damn sexy" kind of way.
...So what was I talking about? Oh yeah, working mommy stuff. I hope it will help. If not, I will work on accepting the chaos for what it is, and just try to watch more movies.
